Jokes

1)

 

In a Party A Handsome guy askd a gal,"r u going 2 dance?"

She felt so happy & said-"yes"

& d guy said-"dats gud,so can i hav ur chair?" :D

 

2)

Notice at a Church:
Don't leave ur Purse/Watch/Handbag/Mobile/GIRLFRIEND unattended. Bcoz others may think it`s an answer to their prayers.

 

3)

Newtons Universal Law Of Love:

Every boy on earth is attracted towards a girl
with a force directly proportional to the figure of the girl
and
Inversely proportional to strength of her brother..!!

 

4)

 

Routine Of Holidays:
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Sleep Till U R
Hungry,
Eat Till U R
Sleepy... ;)

 

 

5)

 

Double heart attack message by a girl to a boy:
1st Msg: Let`s break up now, it`s all over.
2nd Msg: Sorry, Sorry, Sorry! That was not for you.

 

 

6)

 

In an African Safari,A LION suddenly bounced on Santa's wife.
WIFE-Shoot him! Shoot him!
SANTA-Yes Yes.I'm changing d battery of my camera..

 

 

7)

 

Two frinds,who hadn't seen each other in several years, met on the street.
1st: Who are u working 4 now?
2nd: Same people, My wife & 4 children.

 

 

8)

 

New Economic Analysis:

Its better to have a Long distance Relationship:
Because, S.T.D. rates are much Lower than Fuel Rates.... :-P ;-)

 

9)

 

If I Go Wrong
I Need Ur HAND 2 CORRECT Me

If I Win
I Need Ur HAND 2 WISH Me

If I Lose
I Need Ur HAND 2 GUIDE Me

So
Plz Keep Ur HANDs CLEAN
 

 

10)

DAD:dear son,why yor sister sitting so silent
SON:Nothing dad sister asked
lipstik, but i gave fevistik.
No chip chip
no chik chik

 

 

 

11)

Wife: I Have Changed My Mind.
Husband: Thank God ! Does The New One Work Now?

 

 

12)

 

Aftr robbing d Bank, robber 2 clerk: Did u see me robbing?
Clerk: Yes.
Robber shot him dead & asked d next clerk: Did u?
2nd clerk: No, But my wife saw u!

 

 

13)

Why are Egyptian Children always confused?
Because after death, their DADDY becomes a MUMMY.

 

 

 

14)

Everything about you is perfect - your lips, your skin, your eyes, your body. Perfect! You're lucky to be born beautiful, not like me, who was born to be a big liar.

 

 

15)

A pregnant lady went to an astrologer.
Astrologer: When u deliver a baby, baby's father will die.
Lady: Thank god! My husband is safe!

 

16)

True Love is like a pillow.
U could HUG it when Ur in trouble.
U could CRY on it when Ur in pain.
U could EMBRACE it when Ur happy.
Want True Love?
Spend Rs.50 buy a Pillow.

 

 

17)

 

A man to Santa:
Your friend is kissing your wife in your home.
Santa rushes home and came back within
half an hour and slapped the man
and said:
"He's not my friend."

                                                                                
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